Cannot Get The Fuck Away From Epstein

It’s like his ghost is a gelatinous mass filling every corner of every news cycle everywhere I am. Facebook. Twitter. The embedded News app on my tablets. The fucking newspaper covers I walk by every goddamn day I walk thru Penn Station.

I HATE THIS.

Every day, reminded of my multiple violations.

Every day, reminded that no one truly cares abt the sexual assault of young girls unless it suits their personal political needs.

I hate the world for its casual treatment of this story and all stories like this.

We are NOT your outrage fuel.

We have our own outrage, tyvm.

Freakin OW

Nerve pain is a freakin p… well. Um.

….goddammit.

SERIOUSLY though. I’ve got Morton’s Neuroma and it’s relatively minor most of the time… until the escalators are out in one area while commuting and so I have to walk further a different direction and a random person decides to abruptly change direction and bash their suitcase into my feet.

Plus the main door at work was malfunctioning and the two ways to get into the office were either through a construction zone or up two steep flights of stairs.

Yeah.

I am officially done with today and it’s not even noon where I am.

Norovirus + Cold

Okay, this is pretty miserable.

Went to my gorgeous niece’s birthday party this past weekend. Lucky us, it happened to be scheduled during a brief pause between when Jon was recovering from a nasty bug (it’s been going around his office) and when I was coming down with it.

But the “coming down with it” happened while we were prepping for the 5-hour drive back home. Ugh.

Let me say that 1) traveling while sick with norovirus is uncool (UNDERSTATEMENT) and 2) having a cold on top of it is just extra cruel. Last night with its combined “not only are you nauseated but you also can’t breathe through your nose” made for some unpleasant sleep.

And then I dreamed I was being framed for a horrible thing I didn’t do. Had to escape from Bosnia-Herzegovina on top of a train without being caught or electrocuted. (I’ve never been to any part of the Balkans; I don’t know why that came up. But apparently Bosnia-Herzegovina has lots of lovely waterfalls, so maybe I should go…?)

Enduring simultaneous multiple illnesses affecting the head and throat: do. not. recommend.

Weather wyrd

It’s currently hotter in Philadelphia than it is in Galveston, TX. It’s only two degrees cooler than in Houston.

I think it’s incredibly strange that this makes me miss Texas a bit more.

Time Goes Way Too Fast

Sometimes I feel like I just started this blog.

Then I look back and am like OMG HOW HAS 5 YEARS PASSED ALREADY

Same thing happens with my friends’ kids. Like OMG COLLEGE WHAT and YOU WERE JUST A BABY WHY ARE YOU TAKING THE BUS ON YOUR OWN and other reactions of that nature.

It really starts getting to me, though, when I realize how long it has been since I came up with a story idea that still has not been written. It’s not just shock but that weird creepy shame feeling, like I’ve let myself down, like what the fuck have I been DOING all this time? I can’t justify that there is a really interesting story that has been waiting since 2003 for me to complete it.

But what do I do about it? Mostly nothing.

I will say that I’m really glad I have the commute I do, now. Amtrak quiet car is the BOMB. I’ve actually done real writing. My commute now gives me 2-plus hours per day to write, and hopefully this means I can get some stories into the world. Because it’s been waaaaaaay too long that I’ve been getting in my own way. Hopefully that era is ending.

All fingers and paws crossed!

Out Of Context Jukebox

This is Sammi.

Because of this lanky galoot, I have found myself saying some things I never expected:

“Stop eating the rocks!”

“Don’t chew on the floor!”

“Quit swallowing the string!”

Not the smartest dog in the world, but means well. Sort of. 😳🙄

I Voted….

…well, yesterday. It was Primary Day in Pennsylvania. I am proud to have voted along Planned Parenthood’s suggestions for core races and to have voted for some anti-gentrification candidates as well.

Wow, Happy May

Happy First Day of Ramadan, Happy Cinco de Mayo, and Belated May the Fourth be with you. *confetti*

I can’t believe it’s been so long since I posted here. It’s not like life has been THAT busy. It’s also not like I forget. It’s more like – time sometimes flows faster than other times, and I’m chasing a leaf down the stream instead of paying attention to what’s on the banks.

It’s also been a beautiful, if odd, spring. My allergies are really kicking up but the flowers are amazing. Lilacs, irises, peonies and clematis in our courtyard; tulips, cherry trees, dogwoods and buckeyes elsewhere. I have a ton of photographs and I probably should post them here. Just because it’s really hard to get my crap downloaded from Instagram. *eyeroll*

The weather has been a roller coaster, which I suppose is to be expected with how we Westerners muck with the environment. The dogwood in our courtyard got blown down by a nasty windstorm about 2 weeks back, and an ornamental cherry up the street has bloomed – and then the blooms killed by the subsequent cold – no less than 3 times. It was 85 degrees earlier this week and now it won’t get above 63.

But I still have a lot of joy in how beautiful it all is. I kinda adore how we humans love to complain about weather as small talk, yet constantly adapt. And while the prospect of climate change scares the everloving out of me, I keep seeing people working at it from all sorts of directions. That’s some good news.

Because that cherry tree? It keeps blooming.