Instituting “FSA” posts

…because I really need certain things to just fucking stop already.

Today’s FSA is “random miracle breakdowns/breakages.”

Story: Last weekend I had plane tickets to go to Toronto. My plan was to leave our apartment at 8 am, drive my car (Mitethe is her name) to the airport, park her, and hop the shuttle bus to catch the Porter flight at 10:10 am. So I traipsed down to the garage, clicked the key fob…

Nothing. No beep, nothing. Mitethe was dead to the world.

Cue panic. I didn’t have time to call for a jump. I didn’t even have time to take mass transit – from my apartment it would have taken easily 2 hours. So I checked my bank balance quickly, then sucked it up and took a cab.

When I got back, I realized that if I didn’t call roadside assistance at just the right time, I’d be blocking the rest of the garage in to their spots for the duration of my service call. I didn’t have to drive anywhere the rest of the week, so I kept deciding not to risk it. In the end, I didn’t get Mitethe back from the dead until Saturday (yesterday) late afternoon.

Then, at 5 am this morning, Jon & I were woken up by the sound of a lot of glass things falling to their doom on our tiled kitchen floor. We ran out there, groggy as hell, to discover the refrigerator doors open, a tempered glass shelf shattered, and multiple typical refrigerator objects, including glass bottles, smashed on the floor.

Jon was a hero. He cleaned up a lot of the floor, and I basically told him to ignore the fridge and come back to bed, because I was having a hard time staying upright.

Since then, we’ve both found glass in our shoes, and I’ve gotten glass powder stuck in my fingers while trying to clean.

So. Breakdowns/breakages, please fucking stop already.