The Helplessness of Loving Animals

Monte has been having some digestive issues, so we are currently at the vet’s ofc for the second day in a row. We waited, snuggled together tightly on a vinyl couch in a frigid office, for almost two hours waiting for the ultrasound doctor to come. Now they’ve taken him in to get the procedure, and I’m left with the residual guilt that I can’t explain to my poor roo what’s going on, why he’s here, why he has to go hungry for so long. All I could do to console him is give him my hand to cuddle around and make soothing, apologetic noises.

I recall this same feeling, unpleasantly, from when our pup Amelia first got badly ill and needed subcutaneous fluids. The annoyance of the needle; making her lie relatively still while the cup or so of coldness slowly sank into her. Even being blind and struggling with degenerative myelopathy, she still wanted to roll and play, so it was extra painful to have to prevent that in order to treat her… so that she could continue to feel good enough to roll and play.

The good news is that now that I work from home, I can cuddle with him while working and be able to repay the discomfort of now. That doesn’t change how helpless I feel, nor does it change how I would drop everything in an instant to do it again.