I want to stop
I want to just stop
I want to not have to think or negotiate or reconsider or do the complicated logistical algebra of living in this nightmare world for
just
a
freaking
day
my entire history bulges up against my back and nothing I do can extricate me from its need
whether to spend my strength to hold it back so that the next moment can pass unhindered
or to let it go like a flood washing out the road my life was navigating
every moment has the potential for crisis and i just want
one
moment
of
peace
