(the title is the CW.) It’s my true father’s birthday later this week. It took me a while to figure out that this is why I’ve been so tired, so angry, so unable to do things. Because grief is weird, & for me, every time it swells it decides to do something new, just toContinue reading “Landscape of Grief”
Author Archives: killerpuppytails
OK, So, Let’s Recap….
Seriously this whole country is a big ball of What The Actual Fuck. First, not only did Hurricane Ida fuck up Louisiana and shut off power for a whole ton of vulnerable people, but it sailed on up the Eastern Seaboard and dumped a bunch of rain on Pennsylvania, New Jersey, and New York coastalContinue reading “OK, So, Let’s Recap….”
Griefstuck
It’s hard to process one’s own grief when there’s so much else going on in the world. I’m flush with intense worry and sadness over so much else: New Orleans and those in the path of Ida.Afghanistan, the US strike against the airport bomb, the girls’ school that evacuated to Rwanda, and those Afghans whoContinue reading “Griefstuck”
A million tears
Griefstorming
CW: Death I remember the day I dreamt that Paul died. I remember in the dream it was after sunset, a smear of orange still on the horizon. I remember him shot, bleeding, him leaning on me heavily as I tried to get him away from the people who casually took him from us, strugglingContinue reading “Griefstorming”
Untitled
I want to stop I want to just stop I want to not have to think or negotiate or reconsider or do the complicated logistical algebra of living in this nightmare world for just a freaking day my entire history bulges up against my back and nothing I do can extricate me from its needContinue reading “Untitled”
404 days, with a moment of victory
It’s been a month since I last posted. It hasn’t been an easy time, though I know my life is very smooth compared to most. But I started hitting burnout soon after, so when that happens, things fall to the wayside. Today, though, I have to give voice to a celebration. CN: discussing crimes againstContinue reading “404 days, with a moment of victory”
Day 373, with Vernal Equinox
Today I spent time welcoming Spring in my Hemisphere by cleaning the bathroom (totally necessary due to plumbing mishap) and doing a bunch of plant maintenance and propagation. The water here has done a number on a bunch of my plants so it was time to do some soil replacement, poor things. Hoping the equinox,Continue reading “Day 373, with Vernal Equinox”
