Because I want to save this for a story seed.
When taking a shower HURTS.
Holy crap, my feet.
I seriously adore these flowers. The fuzzy, pale-pink five-pointed stars of the base flower! The tiny waxy five-pointed inner bits with their white points and deep pink centers! The way the sun shines through them!
It’s like his ghost is a gelatinous mass filling every corner of every news cycle everywhere I am. Facebook. Twitter. The embedded News app on my tablets. The fucking newspaper covers I walk by every goddamn day I walk thru Penn Station.
I HATE THIS.
Every day, reminded of my multiple violations.
Every day, reminded that no one truly cares abt the sexual assault of young girls unless it suits their personal political needs.
I hate the world for its casual treatment of this story and all stories like this.
We are NOT your outrage fuel.
We have our own outrage, tyvm.
Nerve pain is a freakin p… well. Um.
SERIOUSLY though. I’ve got Morton’s Neuroma and it’s relatively minor most of the time… until the escalators are out in one area while commuting and so I have to walk further a different direction and a random person decides to abruptly change direction and bash their suitcase into my feet.
Plus the main door at work was malfunctioning and the two ways to get into the office were either through a construction zone or up two steep flights of stairs.
I am officially done with today and it’s not even noon where I am.
Okay, this is pretty miserable.
Went to my gorgeous niece’s birthday party this past weekend. Lucky us, it happened to be scheduled during a brief pause between when Jon was recovering from a nasty bug (it’s been going around his office) and when I was coming down with it.
But the “coming down with it” happened while we were prepping for the 5-hour drive back home. Ugh.
Let me say that 1) traveling while sick with norovirus is uncool (UNDERSTATEMENT) and 2) having a cold on top of it is just extra cruel. Last night with its combined “not only are you nauseated but you also can’t breathe through your nose” made for some unpleasant sleep.
And then I dreamed I was being framed for a horrible thing I didn’t do. Had to escape from Bosnia-Herzegovina on top of a train without being caught or electrocuted. (I’ve never been to any part of the Balkans; I don’t know why that came up. But apparently Bosnia-Herzegovina has lots of lovely waterfalls, so maybe I should go…?)
Enduring simultaneous multiple illnesses affecting the head and throat: do. not. recommend.
It’s currently hotter in Philadelphia than it is in Galveston, TX. It’s only two degrees cooler than in Houston.
I think it’s incredibly strange that this makes me miss Texas a bit more.
Sometimes I feel like I just started this blog.
Then I look back and am like OMG HOW HAS 5 YEARS PASSED ALREADY
Same thing happens with my friends’ kids. Like OMG COLLEGE WHAT and YOU WERE JUST A BABY WHY ARE YOU TAKING THE BUS ON YOUR OWN and other reactions of that nature.
It really starts getting to me, though, when I realize how long it has been since I came up with a story idea that still has not been written. It’s not just shock but that weird creepy shame feeling, like I’ve let myself down, like what the fuck have I been DOING all this time? I can’t justify that there is a really interesting story that has been waiting since 2003 for me to complete it.
But what do I do about it? Mostly nothing.
I will say that I’m really glad I have the commute I do, now. Amtrak quiet car is the BOMB. I’ve actually done real writing. My commute now gives me 2-plus hours per day to write, and hopefully this means I can get some stories into the world. Because it’s been waaaaaaay too long that I’ve been getting in my own way. Hopefully that era is ending.
All fingers and paws crossed!