It’s hard to process one’s own grief when there’s so much else going on in the world. I’m flush with intense worry and sadness over so much else: New Orleans and those in the path of Ida.Afghanistan, the US strike against the airport bomb, the girls’ school that evacuated to Rwanda, and those Afghans whoContinue reading “Griefstuck”

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CW: Death I remember the day I dreamt that Paul died. I remember in the dream it was after sunset, a smear of orange still on the horizon. I remember him shot, bleeding, him leaning on me heavily as I tried to get him away from the people who casually took him from us, strugglingContinue reading “Griefstorming”


I want to stop I want to just stop I want to not have to think or negotiate or reconsider or do the complicated logistical algebra of living in this nightmare world for just a freaking day my entire history bulges up against my back and nothing I do can extricate me from its needContinue reading “Untitled”

Day 373, with Vernal Equinox

Today I spent time welcoming Spring in my Hemisphere by cleaning the bathroom (totally necessary due to plumbing mishap) and doing a bunch of plant maintenance and propagation. The water here has done a number on a bunch of my plants so it was time to do some soil replacement, poor things. Hoping the equinox,Continue reading “Day 373, with Vernal Equinox”

Day 365. Holy Cow.

Last year, at this exact time (3:45 pm), my boss was telling my team to take anything personal home with us. Closure had not yet been announced at work, but illnesses were escalating dramatically and the situation in Westchester County, NY, was already devastating, to the point where they’d announced a mile-wide “containment zone” aroundContinue reading “Day 365. Holy Cow.”

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