Life & Love – killer puppy tails

Landscape of Grief

(the title is the CW.) It’s my true father’s birthday later this week. It took me a while to figure out that this is why I’ve been so tired, so angry, so unable to do things. Because grief is weird, & for me, every time it swells it decides to do something new, just toContinue reading “Landscape of Grief”

A million tears

Griefstorming

CW: Death I remember the day I dreamt that Paul died. I remember in the dream it was after sunset, a smear of orange still on the horizon. I remember him shot, bleeding, him leaning on me heavily as I tried to get him away from the people who casually took him from us, strugglingContinue reading “Griefstorming”

Untitled

I want to stop I want to just stop I want to not have to think or negotiate or reconsider or do the complicated logistical algebra of living in this nightmare world for just a freaking day my entire history bulges up against my back and nothing I do can extricate me from its needContinue reading “Untitled”

Day 373, with Vernal Equinox

Today I spent time welcoming Spring in my Hemisphere by cleaning the bathroom (totally necessary due to plumbing mishap) and doing a bunch of plant maintenance and propagation. The water here has done a number on a bunch of my plants so it was time to do some soil replacement, poor things. Hoping the equinox,Continue reading “Day 373, with Vernal Equinox”

Day 320, with a kickass recipe

One of the joys in my life is great restaurants. The joy of choosing a recipe and anticipating what new spin someone will put on it. Because of my allergies, I can’t get takeout anymore: I can’t talk to servers and cooks and ask about ingredients, and if something is wrong I can’t send itContinue reading “Day 320, with a kickass recipe”

Day 310, at a bit of a loss

Late yesterday our wee family got a bit of bad news. CN: discussing non-pandemic illness & crisis responses along with general pandemic & quarantine stuff. . First thing to note is that it’s not us – we’re all fine – but it’s very close to us. Second is that it’s not COVID, but it’s definitelyContinue reading “Day 310, at a bit of a loss”

Day 300 take two

A Black preacher on Twitter reminded me it’s Epiphany today. Really apropos considering how important this day is to the culture that is my heritage. I’m sure it came late, but still. It’s a public holiday where my family is from. Kids go from house to house dressed as the three wise men and carol,Continue reading “Day 300 take two”