I honestly don’t know what I was imagining this year would hold by the end of 2020.
So much has happened this year/has been happening for the past few months/is happening right now that it’s strange to have one’s brain sort of taken over by, of all things, Twitter. Discussion of family loss ahead. Folks on Twitter like to call it a hell site. Like, I see it across varying groups ofContinue reading “A distillation of human”
(the title is the CW.) It’s my true father’s birthday later this week. It took me a while to figure out that this is why I’ve been so tired, so angry, so unable to do things. Because grief is weird, & for me, every time it swells it decides to do something new, just toContinue reading “Landscape of Grief”
Seriously this whole country is a big ball of What The Actual Fuck. First, not only did Hurricane Ida fuck up Louisiana and shut off power for a whole ton of vulnerable people, but it sailed on up the Eastern Seaboard and dumped a bunch of rain on Pennsylvania, New Jersey, and New York coastalContinue reading “OK, So, Let’s Recap….”
It’s hard to process one’s own grief when there’s so much else going on in the world. I’m flush with intense worry and sadness over so much else: New Orleans and those in the path of Ida.Afghanistan, the US strike against the airport bomb, the girls’ school that evacuated to Rwanda, and those Afghans whoContinue reading “Griefstuck”
CW: Death I remember the day I dreamt that Paul died. I remember in the dream it was after sunset, a smear of orange still on the horizon. I remember him shot, bleeding, him leaning on me heavily as I tried to get him away from the people who casually took him from us, strugglingContinue reading “Griefstorming”
It’s been a month since I last posted. It hasn’t been an easy time, though I know my life is very smooth compared to most. But I started hitting burnout soon after, so when that happens, things fall to the wayside. Today, though, I have to give voice to a celebration. CN: discussing crimes againstContinue reading “404 days, with a moment of victory”
Last year, at this exact time (3:45 pm), my boss was telling my team to take anything personal home with us. Closure had not yet been announced at work, but illnesses were escalating dramatically and the situation in Westchester County, NY, was already devastating, to the point where they’d announced a mile-wide “containment zone” aroundContinue reading “Day 365. Holy Cow.”